Facing Facebook.

Technology.

So many ways to access people, places, and things. To connect us all. To make us feel lonelier than ever.

I have a Love Hate relationship with Facebook. I have an Addiction to Facebook. It's like driving by an accident. You know you will see things that will stick with you and maybe even ruin your day. But you can't help but look.

And you worry about being Left Out if you don't.

In the last 21 years I have moved 9 times. Knowing that I had FB to keep connections with friends made it a bit easier to move on...you don't really have to say goodbye; you can say "See you on The Book". Knowing that I could share special moments and achievements the kids had with our extended families through FB has made me feel a bit less guilty about the times that we can't actually spend together.

But lately, more often than not, Facebook simply makes me feel bad.

Inadequate. Sad. Poor Me. Guilty. Here is what I have gotten from FB lately.

My kids aren't involved in enough meaningful activities.

I don't exercise the right way and often enough.

I am not doing enough to affect social change.

I don't read enough to my kids. Or take them on enough meaningful outings and vacations.

The kids will be socially inept due to the time they spend playing video games.

I am not included or invited anymore.

I am not relevant anymore.

The meals I cook are not healthy enough.

My home decorating skills are sorely lacking. It is terrible to be a just a renter.

I am missing out on life changing events.

We don't travel enough and see the amazing places of the world.

I do not support small businesses and Amazon is evil.

I should work more. AND...I don't spend enough quality times with the kids.

No one "liked" my post. Someone important didn't comment!!

Oh, and of course being made to feel bad by a total stranger who doesn't understand your comment.

But there is one good thing...Drinking Wine at Night is as Good as Exercise (I know.)

So just turn it off right? BUT... how will I know what is going on in my community? What if I miss an event? How will the family see the kids activities? What if I come across a life changing recipe? What if someone NEEDS my OPINION on something and I can show that I am wise and relevant and should be invited...what if I am forgotten? And of course I will lose my validation for drinking that wine.

The reality is, it is time to take a FB break. Maybe not even a break but to change my relationship with it all together. The days I find myself down in the dumps or just displeased with life, they all start with a morning dose of Facebook. When I eliminate that fix, my attitude seems better. Causation or correlation? Does it really matter?

The refreshing thing is I don't think I am alone in this feeling. Seems like, when I do get a chance to finally interact with a person, we don't say...let's chat on FB. We'd still rather meet for coffee. Or wine. My son recently ran into a road block building a fort on parkland, and his first reaction was to research the law, and the actually TALK to someone. Maybe we aren't quite doomed as a society.

I have deliberately taken steps to stop my FB addiction. I deleted the app from my phone. Instead of a FB morning peruse, I have a REAL news site. Instead of hoping on stuck in traffic I listen to NPR. And what has happened? Better days. Better thoughts. Better me.

Social media is not going anywhere, but we can all chose how to integrate it into our life. For me, less is more.

Instead of passing time with your face in your phone. Look up. Smile at someone. You just made a difference.

And if you are wondering if it is time to drink that wine without getting an event on FB, my door is always open and the cabinet always full.

Okay. Now who is going to LIKE my post? Baby steps...